Sunday, March 31, 2013

Monday, March 11, 2013

Q&A - Surviving the first trimester of pregnancy.

We are actually pregnant with our 3rd right now. I have two the ages of your girls and cannot imagine another one in between them. How do you survive the first trimester? The lack of desire to cook or eat much? The sleepiness? Tell me how you do it! Please. :)

I thought about this question over the weekend and came up with my recipe to success. And it isn't much of a recipe.

The truth is I love to enjoy life. I don't like being unhappy and just getting by. I don't like being in "survival mode." If something isn't working, I change it. If something stresses me out, I try to remedy it. However, I do know how to draw the line to my satisfaction. 

This pregnancy has been really rough. I remember being pregnant with Veva thinking it was the greatest thing in the world! And it was. Not many aches and pains I worked on my feet until the day I delivered her and I sincerely loved being pregnant. It was "easy." Not a day of morning sickness. Then Dock came along...Oh boy. Murdock. If you'd like a briefing on that pregnancy you can get a snippet HERE. Fortunately, I haven't had severe pelvic issues like that again...yet. However, every pregnancy progressively gets harder and harder. I've been sicker and for a longer time with each. I also get really tired in the first trimester. 

Then, this baby came along and hit me like a ton of bricks. 

The sickness, the exhaustion, now we are starting into pelvic pain. It seriously knocked me out. For about a month and a half or two months I couldn't do anything. I stayed in my bed or on my couch all day, everyday. I'm not one to ask for help and truthfully I was fine on my own, but I did know that I had a neighbor I could call if I was desperate. I didn't put a load of laundry into the washer for a month. I virtually stopped cooking and cleaning.

So what did I do?! Or what didn't I do that D did?!

This is how we survived it. 

I set my expectations really low. That way I wouldn't feel like a total failure. 

One aspect of my personality that I am really grateful for is that I don't struggle with comparing myself to others or feeling like I have to fit a certain mold or be something spectacular. I have pretty much accepted who I am and I know my strengths and what my best is and I just do my best and try a little harder to be a little better. So when we have periods of time in our lives where we actually NEED to go into survival mode and we know it is only temporary I'm okay with that.

I don't need to be Mary Poppins and I don't feel like a failure if I'm not Mary Poppins. As long as my family's basic needs are met--food, shelter, sleep, safety, and love, I'm satisfied. 

 So laying on the bed/couch all day watching my kids...
a. destroy my house
b. watch TV shows
c. play with each other
d. play games on my phone

I'm so okay with that, because at that time of my life that is all I could give. 

The difficult thing about this pregnancy and first trimester was that D wasn't home until 8:30-9 PM every night. I never had relief or help at night. So, he would usually come home to everyone sleeping, including me. 

He took over all house responsibilities. He cleaned and spent every weekend bringing some order to our home. He did all the laundry, grocery shopping, and meal planning. He tried to make everyone smile. He would wake up with our early riser (Veva) at 5:45 or 6:00 and let me sleep in until the last possible minute. 

One thing that is really important to me is a healthy, homemade from scratch, meal for my family. However, I had to simplify. I couldn't do it, I didn't have the energy or stamina, or stomach. So, we bought some spaghetti sauce and had spaghetti every week. We had canned tomato soup, simple rice and stir fry that was precut and ready to be cooked. D made sure to shop really simple. We even had a frozen meal usually once a week. Simple, simple, simple, was our motto.
There were several weeks when Sunday would roll around and I realized that the kids and I had not been out of our house all week long (It was freezing and snowy). And for about three weeks Veva didn't go to Joy School. 

I also let my blog go, maybe you noticed. 

Now that I am heading into the second trimester I feel much more human. We are functioning much better and I'm not down nearly as much. I did tweak some schedules so that we could all be napping together. But what a relief to be out of that first trimester! There were days that it was so hard I'd just cry. My life is pretty demanding as it is, and to not be able to contribute to it was a strain on everyone. 

So, that is how we "survived." Somedays were barely made it. But, WE MADE IT! Was this a depressing post?! It wasn't intended to be.... BABIES ARE WONDERFUL. But, pregnancy can sure kick your butt. 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

I am in love with our current stages. There are days I try to soak in this stage of life as much as I can and I still can't get enough. It isn't bliss. It is hard. It is a lot of work. But it is the BEST work. I love it. And these little ones who sometimes make me want to pull my hair out, make me melt all at the same time. I love them so much.
Last night after all the kids were in bed, D and I were laying in our bed talking about our kids. Everything that is unique about each of them and the things that make us giggle and the things that drive us nuts.
Veva (3 1/2)
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We are starting to see glimpses of a post toddler stage with Veva. We have the best conversations, she is curious about everything and soaking in as much information about everything as she can. Often times she will ask for clarification on something we previously talked about. My favorite time of day with Vev is pre-bed. She has the funniest things to say about her day. I ask her about her favorite parts of the day and the things that make her sad, happy, scared, mad. She informed me that it makes her really mad when I stay in my pajamas and don't get dressed for the day. Which has become a norm the last couple of months.
I love that I can reason so well with her. She is growing and although she still holds onto much of it, with a curious mind she leaves behind that blind innocence. She wants to know all about this world, she wants to understand what, why, and how. I hope she never stops asking questions and learning. 
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Dock (2 1/2)
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Ever since he was born, Dock has been a loveable, giddy little boy with the biggest heart. And his heart just keeps growing. He is a peace-maker and always concerned about everyone's well-being. He will do whatever he needs to do to make someone happy, even if that means giving up his favorite toy. He loves to make people laugh and will do silly things all day long trying to get a good laugh from us. Dock craves learning. He cannot get enough of his letters and numbers. He can count to a hundred and recognizes all his letters. As we go out about town he always points out signs and the letters he sees on them. All day long he wants to be mentally challenged. I'm always working to figure out ways to fulfill that need for him. He's a lover, a learner, and a social butterfly. 
Jewel (1)
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Jewel is absolutely hilarious. She is the sassiest little one year old I've ever had! She has the best scowl and it never gets old. If she doesn't recognize you she will give you her wrath! And don't you dare take something from her hand, you will again get a glare. It even comes with a few blinks. It really is the funniest thing. At the same time she walks about the house giggling all the while. Just happy to be alive! She knows how to hold her own with her siblings and lets you know when she is mad. She is content and giddy. Her laugh is hearty and heard all day long. She fits the role of third child perfectly and has found her place in the craziness of our life. We cannot imagine our lives without her.