Wednesday, May 4, 2011

What I hope you know.


Here is a sneak peek.
Soon to come - Seattle, tulip festival, Easter, royal wedding party, and of course the van.

Until then, enjoy...

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I remember so vividly driving around in the car with my mom. She would lovingly talk to all the cars around her. "Come on, hun...drive." "The speed limit is 35, dear." She is a California driver enduring Idaho traffic. Then she would follow it up with, "kids, don't ever do this."

Sometimes I will visit with my Mom about the way I am, things I struggle with, my quirks and she'll say, "I know, I am sorry...you get that from me."

There are some traits I am happy to pass on to my children. Others, I hope to change before they become habits in my kids.

Although I have many things that I need to improve and work on, I'm happy with myself. I am content being me.

A few weeks ago getting to church was chaos (it usually is.) Two kids screaming, can't find ANY pairs of shoes for V, can't find the keys, rushing to pack the bag and make it on time, then we arrived and before getting out of the car I looked at D and said, "Now, lets put a smile on our faces and pretend like everything is great." Sure enough we walked in with poise. V had a smile on her face and charmed everyone she passed, I was smiling and happy to have made it, and everyone was content. No one would know that we were in utter chaos just moments before.

My Mom told me about a situation when she used to look at a couple and think they had it all. she used to think, 'they have the greatest marriage.' Unfortunately, it ended in an affair and finally a divorce. She told me to always be grateful for your own problems, and then work on them.

Then a while back I found this adorable blog. The author of the blog often writes about her sweet husband. She gushes in such a sweet way over how amazing he is. All of the sudden I became the naggy wife from youknowwhere. D couldn't do anything right. I measured him up to this expectation. I knew what was happening. I knew it from the moment it started. So I stopped reading the adorable blog and I started loving my husband. He has a lot to offer. He may not call me "sweet cakes," (I don't think I would like that anyway,) and he still doesn't pick up his towel in the morning, he might not plan and follow through with the most amazing dates of the century every weekend (although, he has had a few), and he doesn't leave a note on my pillow every morning, but he has a lot to offer in his own special way. I had expectations that didn't need to be met. It would be like him expecting a clean house and dinner on the table with a glowing wife and happy kids every night when he walks through the door. Not going to happen.

Stick with me, I have a method to this madness.

So, when my sister jokingly said to me the other day, "when I grow up I want to be you." I said, "no you don't." Life is great, but we are real people with real problems.

I try to keep things in perspective on this blog of mine. I try to add the good the bad the pretty and the ugly.

I have friends who struggle with infertility (like I did,) I have friends who struggle with their kids, I have friends who struggle in their marriage, others who don't have the traditional family, some who have had a difficult life. Sometimes I hesitate blogging about happy things, for fear that it might make them feel bad.

But, that isn't what my blog is about. It isn't to show you what a great life I have.

I love our life. But I don't want you to love it more than yours. I have done that before when I read blogs and I don't want to be the source of heartache in someone else!

Rather, I hope you get something else from my blog.
I hope you get the sense that I tackle life with a positive attitude. I try to remember that the glass is half full (not half empty - and not all the way full either!) Life can be hard, but that is okay - we are better for it.

I try really hard to be happy in the ups and downs of life.

I know what real depression is, I fight for happiness everyday.

Most days I win.

10 comments:

Jeff and Andrea Ashmore Family said...

Tiffany what a well written, heartfelt post. I too have had similar feelings on my mind lately and I haven't quite came up with how to express them on my blog.
When I do, I may link this post if you don't mind.
You are a beautiful,real person inside and out.

Jen S. said...

I really enjoy this post a lot! I, just like Andrea, have been thinking many of the same things. I've talked about a few vaguely on my blog but mostly am just happy happy when things aren't always perfect! I love what your mom says "love your problems, then work on them"... very wise words.
Everyone has struggles and problems, yet we tend to just share the positives with the world... why? I'm not sure... hence my post about the Veneer we have...

whit939watts said...

thanks for this, tiff! i love real life.
ps i love, love that photo! i love tulips and i love seattle! can't wait to hear more about them all.

Kimberly Gochnour said...

you are beautiful person and I am not talking about looks (although you are quite the cutie) but you have a very beautiful soul. I love reading blogs that are real and heartfelt. and I love you and think about you frequently in Seattle!

Kimberly Gochnour said...

or whatever your town is called:)

Katie Marie Photography said...

LOVE IT!!! I've been needing that, the past couple days...Thanks for sharing..and P.S.- don't get discouraged..my hubby still doesn't pick up his towel either...HMMM they must be related...:)

Joan said...

I love how candid you are on your posts! I think that's why I love reading your blog. Thank you!

Double the Trouble said...

Fany I loved reading this blog especially! A great picture to start it off and then a great message. My mom told me when Mike and I got married to not compare my husband nor our marriage to anyone elses. I've strived to try and do that each day and I'm glad you're urging other people to do the same. Great message girl and so true! We miss you in Idaho but I'm sure they love ya more in Washington!

melissa said...

thanks for this. just what i needed today!

Leisa Moulton said...

Thanks so much for this post. It was just what I needed today. I love reading your blog, it always helps to lift me up for the day.