Monday, January 10, 2011

Me.

This year I want to love myself more.
Loving and accepting yourself is a powerful thing. How can we truly love and respect others if we don't love and respect ourselves?
I believe we need to find inner peace before we can better ourselves. My heart has been hurting, literally. Have you felt that lately? A heart can really hurt. because of pain, loss, emptiness, etc. It isn't just a saying. It has been a really long time since I felt that. I miss so much about home. I feel such a void in my life. I am missing so many things that are familiar. If I could just see a single familiar face! Good thing for Skype. Talking to my Sis and her kids, brother and sis-in-law, and my parents helps ease the pain. I miss meaning something to anyone around me. No one knows me here. I miss being important to the primary kids in our ward, to my students at clogging, to others in the community for my volunteer work. Then I realized that no where in my thoughts was my family. I am the most important thing in my husband's and children's lives. Their lives are sustained through me, my love, my attention, my caring. My marriage needs me. Veva and Murdock survive because of me. I am crucial to their well-being. That was when I decided I needed to love myself more. My family needs me. And I need me. Back. I miss my old self.

I want to love my self enough that I don't judge others.
I want to love myself enough that I truly enjoy seeing others succeed.
I want to love myself enough that I don't hesitate being myself.
I want to love myself enough that I can be comfortable with my life as a stay-at-home-mom. Everyday.
I want to love myself enough that I can make friends easily.
I want to love myself enough that social situations won't give me anxiety.
I want to love myself enough that I can be a better spouse.
I want to love myself enough that I can let things go.
I want to love myself enough that I don't seek gratification from others.
I want to love myself enough that I always seek to serve.
I want to love myself so I can love others more.
I want to love myself enough that I can be humble.
I want to love myself enough that I don't hesitate to compliment.
I want to love myself enough that I can be happy.

I want to be more secure in who I am and the capabilities I have. I want inner peace.

I want more self-control in my emotions. I want to be more patient.

It will be a process, but I am optimistic that all areas of my life will improve if I love myself more. If I am taking care of me. Doing things that will benefit my spiritual, physical and emotional wellness. Putting myself first so everyone can benefit.

4 comments:

Tyson and Dani Todd said...

=0) I love you.

Nicole said...

Tiff, You inspire me!

Katie said...

What a great post. I am in that same boat, it's like a hill that you can't get over. Thank you for the inspiration!

Whit said...

tiff, i wish i was there to come visit and play with your cute kids!
hang in there. you are an amazing person!